Cream Tea Mystery Solved!

Here is the latest piece of non-research for you to get your teeth into – courtesy of the Daily Mule.

Dr Eugenia Cheng, a mathematician at Sheffield University, has apparently devised a statistical formula for the perfect combination of jam, cream and scones for a perfect cream tea.  She says that the best weight ratio is 2:1:1, which means an average scone, weighing 70g, requires 35g of jam and 35g of cream.  Dr Cheng set the ideal thickness of the scone, with all its elements added, at about 2.8cm, allowing a relaxed open width of the mouth when taking a bite.  Curiously the composition of the scone itself (flour, fat, weight of fruit) is irrelevant, as they are not mentioned.  This poor piece of research also fails to mention wasps, splinters from the picnic bench, stainless steel tea pots that pour everywhere except into the cup, and cheap florid crockery (cracks and chips optional), all of which are traditional ingredients of a cream tea, essential for full appreciation of the British summer experience.  Oh, and rain.

Who pays these people?  Oh yes, we do.  GRRR.