I’m not well.  That’s my excuse, anyway. I’m watching a lot of Daytime TV, specifically extreme everything.  It seems to cut through the cattargh – and if that’s not how it’s spelled then it certainly feels like it, with double emphasis on the ‘argh’ part.

Where was I?  Oh yes.  Old American daytime TV.  The adverts for the coming programmes are so entertaining, especially as they are, bizarrely trailed as “Festive Fun”.  I started to freewheel on alternative content.  “Zombie Guinea Pigs”.  “When Koalas go Bad”.  “Bonanaz” (like Bonanza only more fruity).  “True Parking”.  “How it’s made, and then doesn’t work”.  “Extreme Lying Down”. “Sandwiches of the Pharoahs”.  “Secrets of Hitler’s Sock Drawer”. “Celebrity Podiatry”. “Killer Ironing” and “Pro-Celebrity Incontinence”.

The way I feel, I could watch most of these – once anyway.